Why do I fear death?
Because I don't know what death is.
It is really a gift that I don't know the time of my death.
But the computer science professor Randy Pausch knows that he just have a couple of days in his life on our planet.
After watching his last lecture I had to cry…and to think.
Although there are so many inspiring stories out there about death including Reem Abaza's death that caused a buzzing effect lately in Egypt, and a friend of mine who died suddenly the 2nd day of Ramadan 1 hour before the Iftar, this was different.
The 46 years old father has been diagnosed with the end stage of pancreatic cancer.
"As I later told [my doctor], it's unfortunate, and it's unlucky, but it's not unfair. As I always tell my 5-year-old, it's not 'unfair' when you don't get what you want. We all run the risk of getting hit by the cancer dart." ,he said.
Pausch achieved almost all his childhood dreams.
Is it time to leave life?
So he was there in Carnegie Mellon University to give his last lecture and to discuss in front of more than 400 people how to fulfill your childhood dreams...and how "really" to live life.
"What we're not going to talk about today," he said , "is cancer, because I've spent a lot of time talking about that ... and we're not going to talk about things that are even more important, like my wife and three [preschool] kids, because I'm good, but I'm not good enough to talk about that without tearing up."
I am sure every one of us has dreams.
With my monotonous way of living, the on and on manipulation of my environment , the specific goals that have to be achieved and being continuously forced by members of my family and the whole society to fulfill their expectations , I have a bad feeling of never reaching my aims.
This wise professor changed my whole pessimistic idea about this issue.
It is wonderful to know that you have a purpose in life… that you can positively change something in the world…and Prof. Randy is an ordinary person that changed many people's lives.
It was a moment of silence when he courageously showed the whole world the CT images of his tumor…the "thing" that will rip him from his beloved ones.
In the end of the lecture Dr. Pausch surprised his wife with a cake for her birthday.
"The only times I cry are when I think about the kids -- and it's not so much the 'Gee, I'll miss seeing their first bicycle ride' type of stuff as it is a sense of unfulfilled duty -- that I will not be there to help raise them, and that I have left a very heavy burden for my wife."
"My wife and children mean everything to me. They give a purpose to life and a depth of joy that no job [and I've had some of the most awesome jobs in the world] can begin to provide."
Teaching is one of the best things anyone can do…and this man taught me how wonderful life is…and that I have to appreciate life more.
I hope one day I will have the chance to teach someone something.
This is a brave man…when I put myself in his place…well...in my remaining days I would have lived in fear and sadness all day and night…not knowing how I am going to die…and if it is going to be painful.
I am still waiting the phone call that will carry the bad news…the death of my grandmother.
Four or five members in my family know that she has also weeks to live.
She does not know.
Very strange…to hear and see so many touching stories about death…yet I am acting as if I am still the same person and have never been informed about.
First being moved for days or weeks…and then forgetting everything and going back to my seat in the circle of life.
Everyone's story is an inspiration that need to be told...and the first person you should tell him your story is "you".
From now on I will consider death a pleasant event.
