Good Bye

The sister of my grandmother is very ill and I think she is dying…she died 10 years ago…but she is living physically till now…she is not in a coma or paralyzed…she is waiting for death…it is a horrible feeling…not having anyone in your life…living alone without anyone helping you…or even asking if you need help…or if you are sad or happy…or what you have done today…or yesterday…or the day before yesterday…when we opened the door of her apartment in Shobra where she is living…it was like hell…the smell was like the smell of a dead body left for more than 1 month…garbage was everywhere…in the kitchen…in the living room…under the bed...in the bathroom…I think this was a territory for all bacteria civilizations…where is the food…where is the water…cockroaches were everywhere…her clothes were rotten…I do not believe that this lady has half a million pounds…or maybe more…or maybe less…but she does not need money…she needs love and care…she needs a human being like her…her husband died 20 or 25 years ago…and left her a treasure…in her early days she had many friends…and was having good time sitting with them in the Gezira club…I remember when she used to bring gifts for all my family…she did not know how to spend her money…but she knows that she is happy when she sees a smile in someone’s eyes…she used to buy me balloons and toys when I was a kid…she does not have sons or daughters…but she had our family…she traveled all over the world when she was fit and healthy…and all the children in our family loved her very much…because she spent all time playing with us…kissing us…telling us stories…she had many sisters and brothers…some are dead…some still living…but here is the point…all of them have their lives…and their children…and their grandchildren…they have no time to call her…or help her in anything…and the children she was playing with are grownups now...and some have children...this is mean…this is really mean…I tried to tell the members of my family about that…many many times…but no one wants to do something…no one wants to waste his time with a poor old lady that will die soon…they thought she will die maybe in 1998 or 2000…but we are now in 2007…and she is still living…and breathing…and feeling…telling my mother about that was always a big mistake…where is the bond of the Egyptian families…this is the result of the deteriorating Egyptian society…this is the end of the speeding rhythm of life…this is the awful truth of us…and of me in particular...because I have done nothing...but why wondering about that…if the same is happening with me now…and I am young…am I …wallad…wallad shab