Happiness

I want to live a happy life.
Most of the time I am not happy because I feel I have to do obligatory things to satisfy my surroundings , family and society...but I am not satisfied with myself.
Should life be like that.
My life is so complicated that in many points I can not satisfy both...the others and myself.
For me happiness is that god is satisfied with me.
The only way I can live a happy and satisfied life, is when I start doing things that make me happy and satisfied.(?)-(!)
Living a great life does not just happen.
It requires planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who I truly am.
Is it selfishness to make myself one of my first priorities?
I know that without a happy and satisfied me , there will be no happy and satisfied life. I might be consciously ignoring my needs and desires, but my subconscious mind has not forgotten about myself and will constantly remind me through failure, anger and sadness.
No one is going to work on my happiness for me.
I think I have to do unusual things to reach my aim...but people will not understand...I am sorry...I had no choice...my life after death is more important than my life now.