Hana ate my potato chips

The boy and the girl were exhausted after a long hard day in school…the father drove as fast as he can to pick them up…and as usual …he was late…the girl and the boy were standing on the street …carrying their heavy big schoolbags…both jumped in the car…and immediately started talking…
The girl: Father …the potato chips were in the schoolbag…I swear…I went to talk to my friend Hana and when I came back to the class I did not find it…I did not eat chips today…please father…bring me one today…please…I really did not eat it.
I tried to hide my big smile by putting my hand over my mouth.
The boy: The teacher gave us today a lot of homework…I am tired father…I hate that teacher…do I have to go to school
He recognized my mp3 player…he wanted to know what it was…I told him that it is a small player for hearing music…he did not understand or believe that this tiny thing can play music…I think it was the first time for him to see an mp3 player…he wanted to hear…so I gave him a headphone…the girl wanted also to hear …I gave her the other one …they were fascinated …it was “Ecstasy “by ATB.

We don't care

I came back home at 1 am and he was still there walking on the street…everyday I see him at the same area walking barefoot …with the same clothes and with the same emotionless look on his face…he forgot the touch of water on his body…the sense of time and place…the feeling of warmth...he lost everything... is homeless…and can not think anymore…not because he is crazy…but because the world around him has gone crazy…he does not care…we do not care…and I do not care

She can take that step too

An Egyptian girl can also like a guy first …hoping to make him fall in love with her…trying always to be as close as possible to him… she went to most of his concerts …she wanted to see him …to hear his voice…maybe to talk a little with him…cause she is in love…she is a star herself…but that does not matter…she wants always to be with him…and fortunatelly the story had a happy end…he also liked her…fell in love with her…and they are now a beautiful couple…the step does not always have to come from the man…it can also come from the woman…it is not a shame thing to do…if it is in a decent way…I saw them yesterday in "El Bayt Baytak " Hala Shiha ( the Egyptian movie star ) and Hany Adel ( a singer of the Band “ Wust El Balad “-by the way a nice band, I went to two concerts recently, one was in Sakyet Abd El Meneem El Sawy and the other on the grand opening of the new website “ Li-Lak “ and they made all people enjoy their songs- )…I wish them good luck in their life

That's what I need

I like the taste of it in my mouth

the play of its pearls in my ear

because of it I do not need the gel anymore

my hair looks now much better than before

the weather was just perfect

all because of you

I missed you so much

I really missed you

what can I say

I love you

my lovely sand-shower

And I was happy

I do not know what I can do to help him…I think he had a very terrible accident and needs medical care…I think the car hit him while he was standing on the side of the road…half of his face is severely injured…he suffers…lives in pain and wishes to die…he has no family…no friends…no neighbors…no one in that world to help him…to take care of him…to love him in the last days of his life…to be a little mercy with him…the weather is very cold outside…he is very exhausted …he searched for a warm place to sleep and relax…a place to forget his pain…I found him sleeping in front of my door…in a small dark place inside an old big couch…I took some meat from my freezer…made it hot…and gave him to eat…he was shy …afraid…he looked at me…then looked to the food…he ate as if it was the first time for him…the first time to eat something after days of hunger…then I gave him water to drink...he looked at me again…he wanted to thank me…but he did not know how…his eyes said everything…he returned back to sleep…and I was happy.

PS:Actually I was just happy at that moment...but everyday I give him meat I wonder how I can help him in this country...I am sad for him... I did not want to hurt him with the flash of the camera …and I thought if I showed a clear picture of him and his fractured bloody face…it will hurt everyone...could anyone help here?

Nile Beach

و انا ماشى على كبرى الانتحار لقيت ولد ساب فجأه صحابه اللى كانوا مشيين معاه و راح معدى سور الكبرى...طبعا اتفزعت لأنه كان ممكن يقع...ففضلت واقف اشوف بيعمل ايه...لقيته مسك خرطوم ميه طويل- ياريت يكون فعلا خرطوم ميه و مش سلك كهربا- و اتشعبط فيه و نزل لغايه شاطىء النيل...صحابه محدش فيهم اتجرأ ينزل وراه و فضلوا واقفين فوق الكبرى يتفرجوا عليه...الولد نزل غسل وشه من ميه النيل...و كان مبسوط اوى اكنه اول مره يلمس فيها ميه النيل... أو حتى يبقى قريب اوى كده من النيل...و بعدين اعد على شاطىء النيل مستمتع بالمنظر اللى ادامه... بصراحه...انا كان نفسى اعمل اللى عمله...احنا عندنا النيل محاط بأسوار من كل جانب علشان نتفرج عليه من بعيد...اكتر من كده ممنوع...اصل الناس اللى اشتروا النيل عاوزين برضه يحافظوا عليه...تخيل لو كان فى فعلا شاطىء نيل فى القاهره و فيه خضره بقه و زرع و اشجار تقعد تحتيها...كان اتملى ناس بحلل المحشى و لب و اكياس بلاستيك و عيال بتترتر و بت.. و ...بلاش نحلم احسن علشان معظم احلامنا بتطلع فى الاخر كوابيس

Ancora

These guys are just amazing…their voices…their presentation…their new interpretation of old lovely songs we all know…it is the group “ Il Divo “ … I just heard their songs from the album “Ancora“… and to be honest with you…before that I was not really into classical pop opera songs…but after I heard their excellent voices…I was touched…I was touched from deep inside…and in the song “ I believe in you “ where they sing together with Celine Dion ...I cried … I remembered things in my life…happy things and sad things… my old friends…old places…memories

ابقه تف علييه

المذيعه: عاوزين نسأل حضرتك يا فندم...هو حضرتك اول لما تقوم الصبح علشان تتف... بتف فى حوض الحمام و الا فى الكابينيه؟

المسئول: و لا هنه ولا هنه...انا بفضل محوشها فى بقى للنهار كله ...اومال... ست تفات فى الشارع اول لما انزل من البيت... اتنين لتلات تفات من شباك العربيه و انا رايح الشغل... خمس تفات فى الرجوع... و تفه و انا طالع البيت ... و بس

المذيعه: واو...ده حضرتك بتف كتير

المسئول:اه...عادى... و انت؟

المذيعه: بحب ابلعهم

ملحوظه: اثبتت الدراسات الميدانيه ان اكثر الشعوب تفا هو شعبنا... و اكثر مكان للتف فيه هو شوارعنا...مسألتش نفسك...ليه؟

انتم ليه مش فاهميننى

طب انا الوقتى بقالى اكتر من عشرين سنه بصحى كل يوم الاقى الفطار الأى وان جاهز و بعدين ابص بصه خاطفه على عناوين الجرايد بتاعتى اشوف كل حاجه تمام زى ما قولت ولا لأ و بعدين ابص برضه بس بصه سريعه بقه مش خاطفه على الدوسيهات بتاعت المزرعه و بعدين طبعا ادى قراراتى زائد تعليماتى المهمه جدا جدا جدا علشان المزرعه و الحيوانات اللى فيها تبقى تمام تمام و بعدين اشوفلى حاجه كده اعملها الضهر و بعدين اتغدى اكل برضه أى وان بس بلوس حلو فرست كلاس و بعدين اتفرج طبعا على تلفزيونى و قنواتى المش متخصصه و بعدين يمكن اعمل حاجه كده ولا كده بالليل و بعدين انام بدرى مرتاح...و بعدين يا جماعه انا انسان طيب...و كل الناس اللى حوليه بتقول كده...ازاى بقه ابقى مش مبسوط...طبعا لازم ابقى مبسوط...و بعدين محدش بيعرف يمشى المزرعه زيى...أله...هو انتم ليه مش فاهميننى...متفهمه بقه

بلاغ عاجل

تغيب الكتكوت ( لولو كوكو واوا ) عن القدوم الى منزل الحاجه فوزيه ام كريم الساكنه فى حى دبر سوس عزبه ابو الخوخ محافظه كاكا من يوم الاحد الموافق التاسع عشر من فبراير سنه الفين و سته الساعه العاشره إلا دقيقتين و سبع ثوانى و يذكر ان لولو الكتكوت كان بيبرطم بكلمات ملهوسه و بيتصرف بتصرفات متشرده و اصبح شرس مفترس فى الاونه الاخيره...و يعتقد ان اصابته انفلوانزا البنى ادميين ومن يجده سرعه الابلاغ عنه فورا للسلطات المعنيه على تليفون 0000000-000

و لمن يجده مكافأه مفاجأه
وهذه أخر صوره له قبل اختفاءه بساعتين و هو يمشى قى حاره كيلو و نص باميه المتفرعه من شارع البلاعه الدائرى

Copy me

I went to copy a whole Textbook…and because it has lots of pages…I searched for a cheap place to copy…until I found that place…so the lady told me go eat or drink something and then come back after 30 minutes…so I did…but I came after 10 minutes…and she was just copying my Textbook…she was really fast…making a rhythmic automatic movement-which is lifting the hand up, then putting the thumb in the mouth, take some sputum (but only some) then moving the arm down in direction Textbook and at the same time pushing the key “Copy” and finally hitting the face of the book to the surface of the copy machine ( like wrestling )-but my Textbook survived…with some bruises , many kinked papers and of course she gave all the papers her unique fingerprints with a touch of some delicious microorganisms from her mouth…I am honored...I had to give her in the end 23 pounds ...and when I came home today I found out that she missed copying some pages...thank you very very much

Copy…copy…copy…everything here is being copied…why …because we can not have the original…why…because it is expensive…and because it is easier to do nothing and just copy…we make the other countries of the world work hard to do these things and we copy…we copy movies…music…CDs…books…papers…exams…lessons….clothes and even trends…I remember how it was difficult for me in a foreign country to find a place to copy a Textbook…and I had to copy the things myself…and it was also expensive …well…here we have plenty of time to copy…not only that…we have pretty ladies just copying that for you…even the store owner could not think for a better name but " copying files 6 piasters " , what a wonderful name

Dream Dream Dream

While I was waiting for my microbus to come-to go to my college this morning-I saw this worker sitting at that place and starring to the sky…and when I came back he was still sitting at that corner of the street…I am wondering what he is doing…maybe relaxing from hard work…or waiting for other workers to help him…and after 3 hours I went down to buy some things to eat…and there he was still relaxing in the warm sunny day…I think he discovered this comfortable corner of the street…and dreams about his future in this country…maybe he is going to be rich…have a Mercedes car…a villa with swimming pool and a chain of garbage industries…as he is professional in that…I wish him good luck…cause dreams come true while we sit down, do nothing and just make some effort in dreaming

What a beautiful girl

Yes…you can find a nice girl in Egypt…yes you can find a friendly girl in Egypt…yes you can find a funny girl in Egypt…but you hardly can find a beautiful girl in Egypt…today I wanted to play a game...I said I want to find a single beautiful girl in Egypt…in the microbus…on the street…on the Suicide Bridge…in the college…I stayed at the door of the college for 3 hours with some friends to find that girl…but no luck…I want to know why it is so hard today to find beautiful girls…I mean beautiful looking girls…well because this generation have eaten a lot…no sport…depression…no marriage…tasty fast food…maybe it has something to do with our genes…I do not know…I always have her picture in my mind...her moves...I like her looks very much…and her soul too…the first time I saw her was in a movie theatre in Europe…in a movie called “ Love’s Brother “…what a beautiful girl…Amelia Warner...I do not know how Colin Farrell could leave her

Flu

I just received this message on my mobile phone from my private teacher that says:

“A report is circulating that people dumped dead and infected birds in the Nile.
Plz use only mineral water 4 the next few days and fwd this msg to everybody.”

What can I say…people especially Egyptians are always freaked…they like to get scared…funny…and we like to get punked.

EgypTokyo

Today was the Japanese day…what can I say…well I was walking on the Suicide Bridge going to college when I heard someone screaming…it was a taxi driver…and beside him sat a Japanese teenager…I think it was “ Lost in Translation “ but in Egypt… so I stopped trying to help them…the taxi driver asked me to ask him where he wants to go…so I asked the Japanese boy…well he wanted to go to the airport…but which airport…the new one or the old one…he does not know…I asked him if he was flying with Egypt Air or maybe something else…he said Emirates…so I told the taxi driver who was very angry and-I do not know-maybe hyperactive…he was a religious man having a long beard … and when I saw the taxi driver shouting to the poor Japanese boy I started walking faster…so the Japanese boy opened the door to get out of the hell but …no way out…the taxi driver drove as if he wanted to kidnap the boy …and the Japanese boy was shouting to me with strange words I did not understand…but I think he was asking me to help him from that damn situation…so I stopped again and told the driver that it is not appropriate to behave like that in front of tourists…but when I looked to his face which was going to explode from anger…I stopped…he told me to tell the tourist how much he was going to pay…so the tourist told me 30 pounds…but he begged me not to leave him alone with this man-this terrorist-as he described…I told the driver that he will pay 30 pounds and when I saw the tourist catching to his money pocket I told him not to give him the money until he arrives at the airport…so he thanked me and took the taxi again…good luck Japanese boy…well I hope he arrived safely

After I finished walking the Suicide Bridge I found a Japanese lady trying desperately to find something…so I asked her what she was looking for…she told me she was looking for an internet café because she came yesterday to Egypt and will leave Egypt tomorrow heading to Athena and she has to find this Egyptian man who worked with her in the United states of America…and I think he gave her an e-mail so she wants to send him an e-mail to see him again…she was really a nice lady and she talked with me about her studies in America and that she likes traveling and knowing new people…so I searched with her for an internet café until we found one…but while we were searching all people were looking at me…as if I was doing something wrong or as if I was the tourist…she thanked me and gave me her e-mail…I do not know why…maybe I will meet her one day in Tokyo or something…maybe…who knows

المرايا

I just received this little thought from my best friend...and I really liked it...so here it is...it is amazing...by the way his name is Miko...cool writing Miko...keep on doing things like that...so just click on the pic to see a larger version of it and enjoy

A piece of secret

What can you do if you have a secret and you do not have anyone to tell...or you can not tell it to anyone…you write your secret on a piece of paper...this paper will be your friend ...you can tell him everything you want to tell...but you will not receive any answer…you will not know his opinion…and you will not get any solution.
I remember when I had a very big problem…a very big secret…and I was sitting at this train station...it was a very cold rainy day…and I started to write it down…on a small piece of paper I had in my pocket...and I was relieved…at that moment…and only for one day…but the problem was not solved…and till now I have this secret...and searching for someone to tell.

انزلوا بقه

الست دى كانت راكب الاوتوبيس ده النهارده... و كانت عاوزه توصل للمكان اللى كانت عاوزه تنزله بأسرع وقت...يمكن كانت تهقانه...يمكن كانت مستعجله...متأخره...المهم كانت قاعده فى اخر الاوتوبيس...و طبعا الاوتوبيس زحمه...لما مكان نزولها جه...افتكرت انها لازم تنزل...راحت منزله كل اللى كانوا واقفين فى الاوتوبيس علشان سعادتها تنزل...المهم الناس كانت بتنزل ببطىء و هى اساسا مش نقصه بطىء...راحت شخته فى الناس و مخاوفاهم...و نزلت تقول أف...طبعا انا كنت من الناس اللى نزلتهم و شخطت فيهم...ثانك يو

Shaving

I hate shaving...I hate shaving...I hate shaving...I have not shaved myself since last Tuesday...well what can say...it hurts...I bleed...I have a sensitive skin...I tried all shaving methods…from up to down…from down to up…from right to left…I tried a lot of shaving creams and gels…but no use…so I do not shave for weeks…but then I look ugly…like someone coming out of the prison…but what can I do… I hate shaving…for me it is like someone cutting my skin in tiny thin pieces…and tomorrow is the day…ohhhh

الدنيا بتمطر يا بيه

و انا واقف اشترى الجرايد لقيت نقط ميه عماله تنزل عليا... قولت يمكن حد بينشر الغسيل...بصيت فوق ملاقيتش غير شجر... طب الميه اللى عماله تنزل عليا دى جت منين... يمكن من عصفوره... بس ده ميه... يمنك عصفوره عندها انفلوانزا و عماله تخر من مراخيرها...اوباااااه... و بعدين... كده ممكن اتعدى منها... بس لقيت الناس اللى جنبى فى الشارع برضه بتبص لفوق... قولت كويس... يبقى مش حيجيلى المرض لوحدى... لقيت بتاع الجرايد بيقوللى : " الدنيا بتمطر يا بيه"... بس الشمس مشرقه... و مفيش اى غيوم... و لا حته سحبايه سوده... و فعلا بدأت تمطر بغزاره...كده من غير مقدمات...سبحان الله...فارحت مصورك يا سما

دمبلز

ياعينى الواد صاحبى بقاله سنه نفسه يجيبله دمبلز علشان يظبط نفسه و يبقى جسمه كويس علشان البنات بتحب الواد الرياضى... يمكن بنت تتشجع و تكلمه... و الله بدعيلك ان البنات تكلمك... بس انت بس اشترى الدمبلز يا كوكو

تونه

النهارده اول يوم ابتدى اكل حاجه تانيه غير الفراخ بعد لما عيت و جلها انفلوانزا البارح.... و رحت اشتريت علب تونه لبقيه الاسبوع... و لما نشوف حقدر استغنى عن الفراخ لغايه امتى.... المشكله ان بعض محلات السوبر ماركت استغلت الموقف ده و غلت اسعار اللحمه و السمك... فمبقاليش غيرك يا تونه... كل يوم حيبقى تونه .... تونه تونه تونه ... لغايه لما اقول بس كفايه ... خلاص مش قادر اكل تونه

Crash

Yesterday I went to see the movie "Crash" in Nile City Cinema after I was disappointed the day before when I went with a friend of mine to Bandar Cinema in Maadi and we found out that they stopped showing it because-as they say-no one wants to see it…although I checked out in the newspaper before going there to be sure that it is shown in that particular cinema…but as we say…we are in Egypt and everything happens…so I went to Cilantro Café instead.

"Crash" a touchy melancholic movie that leaves you without answers until the end.
I liked the character of Matt Dillon who plays an L.A cop... from the beginning you get to know that he is very bad cop but at the end you find out that he is a normal person like you and me who sometimes makes mistakes but has a good soul.
Sandra Bullock who is always sad and angry in her life-although she has everything- finds out that the last person she thought to be her friend…is her housecleaner.
Ryan Phillippe who is a good-heart cop ruins his life in the end because of a mistake of misunderstanding.

Don Cheadle, Brendan Fraser and Jennifer Esposito...every star in this movie really make a top notch performances...and the first time director Paul Haggies-who is the writer of the last year Oscar winning film “Million Dollar Baby " - achieves what most experienced filmmakers have only dreamed of.

I will never forget the scene where the old man shots the 5 years old girl with the gun in his hand while she was hugging her father…and her father screams so loudly with an amazing sound effect and a fast zoom out…you can only hold your breath.

I can not tell the story of the film...you have to see it yourself...to see how life is so complicated in the multiplicity of storylines and the theme of the complex nature of human being and how we judge everyone according to unjustified manners.

ياحرام الفراخ البيكينى جالها انفلوانزا

مرحبا بانفلوانزا الطيور...اتأخرت فى القدوم...بس فى النهايه وصلت بالسلامه...حمد الله على السلامه...حمد الله على السلامه... حمد الله على السلامه فى بلادنا الحلوه... و جت من البلاد التلج على مصر طوالى علشان تدفى شويه... و بعدين الفراخ نفسها اوى فى تان برونزى على شاطىء النيل...بس الحمد لله منستش تجيب معاها المايوه البيكينى...مألولهاش ان البيكينى ممكن يعمل ازمه كبيره فى مصر...بالذات لو جم اتشمسوا عند القرى و النجوع...المهم انهم جم...يمكن يخفوا عندنا بعد لما يدفوا و يشربولهم شاى كشرى من بتاع ام احمد...بالمناسبه انا من هواه اكل الفراخ البيكينى....بس من النهارده حاكل لحمه و سمك... و يمكن ابقى فيجيتاريان... مين عارف... بس بجد احنا كان ناقصنا انفلوانزا الطيور بعد فوز منتخب مصر العظيم و غرق التيتانيك المصرى و الفلانتين داى ...هوه كده النظام... حاجه حلوه و بعدين حاجه وحشه و بعدين حاجه حلوه و بعدين حاجه وحشه

القنوات المصيريه المتخس الخس المص المصاصه

اد ايه بتوحشنا مصر...ده اللى انا بحسه كل لما بروح عند الواد ده المعجون بالتربه المصريه...بالرغم ان الاوضه اللى اعد فيها دى تبعد الاف الاميال من مصر...بس برضه عاوز مصر...و عاوز يشوف اللى بيحصل فى مصر...راح جابله تلفزيون لذيذ صغير و طبق دش ...مخبيه فى الاوضه علشان لو عرفوا انه عنده دش لازم يدفع كل شهر رسوم اكتر- بس على مين...على المصرى...لأ ...ده انا اخبى الطبق و اللى عمل الطبق بس مدفعش...بس اتأكد الاول ان لازم يكون فيه النايل سات...و خلصت الحكايه...هو يصحى كل يوم متأخر...متدفى تحت اللحاف و الريموت فى ايده واديلو تلفزيون... ساب كل القنوات الفضائيه الاجنبيه الممله و هات على القناه الاولى المصريه...اصله متربى من صغره عليها... و بعديها يشوف القناه الفضائيه المصريه... علشان فيها استديو الرياضه والمذيع اللى فيها بيخلل ...اصدى بيحلل الماتشات الكرويه المصريه بدون انحياز... اصل صديقنا مابيحبش الانحياز...و بعدين القنوات دى معموله برضه مخصوص للناس اللى فى الغربه اللى زيه...مش كده برضه... يالا يا عم...استمتع بالقنوات المصريه المتخصصه